Supporting Children Through Grief🧒🏼💗🧒🏽

Q&A with Matt Haywood, Play Therapist

Children’s Mental Health Week is an important time to reflect on how children experience and express their emotions. For bereaved families, understanding how best to support children following the death of a sibling can feel overwhelming.

At The Lily Mae Foundation, we offer a children’s play therapy Service that supports bereaved siblings in a safe, compassionate and child-led way. We spoke with Matt Haywood, Play Therapist, about children’s mental health, grief and the role of play therapy.

What initial advice would you give bereaved parents who are supporting both their own grief and their child’s?

Be gentle with yourself. There is no right way to grieve and no expectation to have all the answers. Children do not need constant strength or perfect words. They benefit from honesty, reassurance and knowing they are not alone in their feelings. Keeping familiar routines where possible and allowing space for questions, play and quiet moments can be grounding for both parent and child. Seeking support for yourself is also an important part of supporting your child.

What tools have you found really aid bereaved siblings you support?

Creative and play-based tools can be especially supportive. Drawing, sensory play, storytelling and memory-making activities allow children to express feelings that may be difficult to explain in words. These approaches help children explore their experiences safely and at their own pace, without pressure to talk before they are ready.

Do you think it is helpful to bring a child to play therapy soon after the death of a sibling?

There is no single right time. Some children may benefit from early therapeutic support, particularly if their emotions feel overwhelming or confusing. Others may need more time. What matters most is that support is available and responsive to the child’s needs, with decisions made carefully by parents and professionals together.

How do you begin a session with a newly bereaved child?

The focus is first on safety and choice. The child is introduced to the space and invited to explore the materials freely. There is no expectation to talk about the bereavement. Building trust comes first, with the child leading the pace of the session.

Is there anything else important to share about children’s mental health and bereavement?

Children’s grief can change over time and may look different from adult grief. Feelings often show through play, behaviour and emotions rather than words. With patient, attuned support and understanding, children can be supported to process loss in ways that feel manageable and meaningful for them.

If you would like to find out more about our Children's Play & Creative Arts Therapy or access support, please contact us at info@lilymaefoundation.org